Scared of the Dark
by TheSeer
Summary: The first night at Riku's, Soma has second thoughts. No pairings.


The first night at Riku's, Souma couldn't sleep at all. He just laid there in the spare bedroom, frozen, waiting for the axe to fall. The Chi-ryuu would come, to punish him for deserting. The Ten-ryuu would show its true colors and ambush him in his sleep. Something.

Riku thought he was asleep. He'd laid down in the spare bedroom with his back to the doorway, just to get the older boy to shut up. Riku had turned off the lights and whispered "Good night," like a brother or a parent. Once it was dark, Souma had started thinking of other reasons to appear asleep. He'd make them underestimate him, whichever "them" it was. So he kept very still, breathing as slowly as he could, clutching his Drive under his pillow and straining for the least sound.

This was stupid. Souma knew it was stupid. The Chi-ryuu didn't even know Riku's name, let alone where he lived. And Souma had never been afraid of the Ten-ryuu - he'd been taught they were scattered, disorganized, and ignorant, and he'd seen nothing to make him think differently. He certainly wasn't afraid of Riku, who as obviously as dependable as a rock and half as smart. As stupid as it was, though, he didn't move and wouldn't fall asleep.

"Geez, Souma," Fusanoshin muttered, his translucent form appearing stretched on the floor. "Put the Drive down. I can't sleep." That did it. Souma threw off the blanket and stood up. "Hey, Souma!"

"Shut up," Souma whispered. "He can hear you as well as I can."

"Who, Riku?" the Shikigami said stupidly. At least he said it quietly. Souma was still dressed - it wasn't like he had pyjamas to put on, anyway. He padded into the living room, silent on bare feet, and started pacing back and forth.

He was a traitor. That was what was bothering him - he was an actual traitor. Not like his father, whose only crime had been saying that toujinshi should destroy demons instead of each other. But Riku said the same thing, and even if he probably wasn't the Ten-ryuu Head, he was still trusted to guard that ruined temple. Even if he did only know three seals. "Screw loyalty," Souma muttered.

"You - you're not going to make me attack Riku, are you?" Fusanoshin whispered. Souma blinked. He'd meant loyalty to the Chi-ryuu. "If you want me to fight Byakko no Kogenta, I will, but don't make me attack a sleeping human. I - I won't do it."

"Calm down, Fusanoshin." The refusal was pure bluster. If Souma cut the seals, Fusanoshin had to fight. Of course, making him do something like that would probably cripple their bond permanently. "I wasn't thinking that."

Except, now he was. He didn't want to hurt Riku, but now he couldn't help imagining it. Even if Riku heard the summoning, Fusanoshin was fast enough to strike before Riku could find his Drive in the dark. Souma holstered his own Drive, and tried to force the pictures out of his head.

He opened the screen to Riku's bedroom. The boy slept like a rock, too, like he'd never had to worry about getting smothered with a pillow in his sleep. He had one shoulder over the blanket; Souma could see he still had that yellow t-shirt on. He was either breathing loudly or snoring softly, and dribbling drool on the pillow. His Drive was sitting on the floor, with his wristband and wallet. He looked nothing like Yuuma or their parents, the only other people Souma had seen sleeping.

He wouldn't even have needed Fusanoshin, Souma realized. Even if he was too small to use a pillow, or didn't have the guts to get a kitchen knife, there was an easier way. He could just smash Riku's Drive. Kogenta would be sent to Limbo, and Riku's life as a toujinshi would be over and forgotten as surely as if he were dead. They'd probably take Souma back, then, if he lied about how he'd done it. He wasn't really trapped.

"What are you doing, Souma?" Fusanoshin whispered. "Why are you staring at him like that?"

Souma closed the screen. "Nothing. It's nothing." He didn't want to go back. He hated the Chi-ryuu, they were liars and thieves and murderers and they'd killed his father. He was just worried about Riku. He was awfully vulnerable for such an important toujinshi. Anyone who wanted to hurt him could just walk right in.

Well, since Souma couldn't sleep, he might as well stand guard. He sat down in the middle of the floor, pointedly facing away from Riku's room. He wondered who they'd send. Shinonome, who'd played tag with him in the tower courtyard? Miruki, who'd brought him treats and presents when he was little? The night seemed very dark, and long.

--

The second night was no better. Souma had gone back to bed at dawn, but Riku's alarm clock had woken him, and Riku's chatter had kept him up. He wasn't used to sleeping during the day, and only managed about five hours of sleep while Riku was at school. Of course, once he came home, Souma either had to stay awake or explain why he was sleeping at 3 PM. He stayed awake.

It only took an hour after Riku went to bed for Souma to get tired of listening for assassins. He stood up.

"We're not going to sit out there all night again, are we?" Fusanoshin asked. "It's boring. Not to mention creepy."

Souma tossed his Drive onto the pillow. "Then stay here." Before his Shikigami could protest, he closed the screen behind him.

Riku was sprawled on his back tonight, blankets pushed down almost to his waist. He still had the yellow t-shirt on. His breathing/snoring was slightly louder, lying on his back, but he wasn't drooling.

Souma started to step into the room, and stubbed his little toe on the doorframe. He yelped before he could stop himself. Riku propped himself up on an elbow, peering through mostly closed eyes. "Uh," he said. "Wha?"

Souma panicked. He backed up so fast he fell over, threw a Toujinfu card without thinking, and scrambled back toward his room. Riku had seen him. The card wouldn't do any good - it had been Sleep, and Souma wasn't nearly good enough to make Sleep work on a Toujinshi.

But he froze with a hand on his own bedroom screen. He didn't hear Riku moving. He looked over his shoulder. Riku's screen was still open, and he wasn't coming out. Souma waited a full minute, so quiet he could hear Riku's slow, even breathing. Maybe Sleep worked better on people who weren't very awake to begin with.

Souma couldn't bring himself to even peek into the room until he'd gone to the kitchen and found a cooking knife with a narrow, seven-inch blade. Clutching it, he peered around the edge of the doorway. Riku was still sprawled on his back, eyes closed, not moving except his chest as he breathed. Souma could still feel the chi energy from his Toujinfu. "Riku?" The older boy didn't move. "Riku, can you hear me?" This time he did move, and Souma nearly jumped through the wall. But all he did was twist in his blankets and mutter something that sounded like "fight Kogenta." He was dreaming. Souma's Toujinfu was keeping him asleep.

Riku's twisting around had exposed his throat. Souma remembered the knife in his hand, and flinched. He looked at Riku's face, instead, but when he realized the knife was narrow enough to go through an eye socket he gagged.

Casting around for something else to focus on, he spotted Riku's drive. Perfect. He picked it up and sat on the floor, tapping the knife point on various vulnerable spots. The mismatched chi made his hand tingle where he touched it, and the thought of actually breaking it made him queasy, but he didn't put it down.

"Sorry, Riku," he said. "I wouldn't really do it. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to go back to the Chi-ryuu. I just. . ." Souma's eyes teared. "I just want to go _home._

"I have my own bedroom, did you ever think of that? With a real bed, and clothes, and toys and books and all the same stuff you have. And the view. It's up in the tower, and at night you can see the whole city, thousands of lights. It gets so dark here." Souma shivered and hugged his knees to his chest, still tapping at the Drive.

"I wasn't even thinking, when I left. I was so focused on Yuuma. I just wanted to stop him, make him understand. Change him back. I was hoping so hard he would change back. And then he said that, 'from now on live on your own power,' and I just thought, 'Holy cow, I'm a traitor. I'm alone.'"

Souma squeezed Riku's Drive. The tingling became stinging. "You're a really awful person to have for your last thing left in the world, you know that? You're stupid and untrained and weak, and so damn ordinary. Yuuma was much better. He was like a rock. I used to fall asleep thinking how Yuuma would always be strong enough to protect me.

"I threw that away. For a few words and a spare bedroom, I threw that away. And I'm not sorry. But I wish I could go home.

"So that's why. I want to be able to go home, and if I. . ." he swallowed bile ". . .got rid of you, I could. But I won't. I promise."

Souma set the Drive back where he'd found it, and set the knife behind him. Then he sat there until the sky was dawn-grey, staring at Riku and not thinking about death, to prove that he could.

When Souma came out for breakfast that morning, Riku looked at him oddly. "Souma, did you. . ."

"Did I what?" Souma asked, trying not to look guilty.

"Nothing. Just a weird dream. Sorry." Then he left, and Souma spent another day in fitful sleep.

--

On the third night, as Riku was going to bed, Souma asked him, "Riku, are you loyal to the Ten-ryuu?"

Riku smiled sheepishly. "I don't really understand that stuff, Souma. Sorry. I just do what seems right." Souma shrugged, as if it didn't matter. "Good night, Souma," he said, in that soft way he had, and closed his bedroom screen.

An hour later, Souma opened it again. He had neither Drive nor knife this time. Riku was on his back again, but the blanket was pulled up under his arms. It wasn't so warm tonight.

Souma threw a Toujinfu card, and Sleep appeared in the air above Riku and settled into him. Souma padded up and sat beside Riku on the floor. "My father used to say things like that, too," he said, as if answering what Riku had said before going to sleep. "Sort of. 'In the end, it doesn't matter about our side or their side,' I think it went, It matters how much you protected, and how much you destroyed.'" Of course, Souma would never have been able to sneak into his father's bedroom like this. He'd always woken up, no matter how quiet Souma was, and tucked him back into his own bed.

"And then Mikazuchi killed him. Our side, our _Head,_ he killed my father and destroyed my mother. And the way everyone looked at us, after, it was like we had 'traitor' written on our faces. We were afraid for months. I think it was only because I was so young that he didn't kill us too, and because Yuuma tried so hard to show his loyalty. I thought it was only an act, to keep us safe. Maybe it was, at first." He'd thought he'd outgrown sneaking into people's beds by then, but he'd gotten so lonely. Yuuma had put a Warning Toujinfu on his door, and he'd woken up. Grumbling, he'd pulled Souma into bed beside him, saying something about how it was safer that way anyway. He'd mumbled about how Souma was safe, it'll be okay, I love you. And his brother had, Souma thought, cried with him a little, though he'd never cried during the day. But he wasn't sure about that part.

"And, geez, Riku, it would be just as easy to kill you. I don't mean me - I already promised you don't need to be afraid of me. But any day, you could just be gone, like Dad. Or like Mom. And you don't even seem scared. Even Dad was scared." Souma had seen him, just before the end, sitting alone in his study and staring off into space with wrinkles in his forehead. Riku was probably too stupid to know what he should be scared of. The only person Souma knew who was never afraid was Yuuma.

"I don't think either of them would ever really betray anything. Dad or Yuuma. I think they've both always been loyal. It's just, loyal to what?" Riku wasn't loyal to anything, he said, he just "did what seemed right." Which apparently included taking Souma in, buying him greasy fast food, and saying "Good night" in a soft voice.

"I don't even know if I like the Ten-ryuu. They could be as bad as the Chi-ryuu, for all I know. For all you know, either." What if Souma had to betray the Ten-ryuu, too? Then he'd really be alone. Or they would, Souma supposed, since he couldn't think of anything that would make him leave the Ten-ryuu that wouldn't make Riku leave, too.

Nervously, Souma put out a hand, touched Riku's shoulder. "Nothing's ever for certain, I guess." Where had Souma heard that? It hadn't been Yuuma, or his father. Had it been Mom? He could feel Riku's chest move as he breathed.

Sighing, Souma crawled under the edge of Riku's blanket, laying his head on that shoulder. Then Riku moved - Souma froze, but all Riku did was turn on his side (dropping Souma's head onto the pillow) and drape an arm around him. "Riku?" he said. "Are you awake?" But he could still feel the Toujinfu working, and Riku just muttered in whatever dream he was having.

Souma sighed again. The kid was probably going to drool in his hair, now. He curled up and closed his eyes. Soon he was asleep.

--

Luckily, Riku woke Souma up by kicking in his sleep, just before the alarm went off. Souma crept back to his room, just like the last two nights. He was less grouchy than before, though, and came out to eat breakfast with Riku. "Did you sleep better?" Riku said.

Souma looked up, startled. "What?"

"You slept in, the last two mornings. And there were bags under your eyes. But you look like you slept better, last night."

"Yeah, I did." He couldn't know, could he? He'd say so, if he did, or else not say anything about sleep. He wasn't the type to talk sideways about things.

But then Riku touched Souma's shoulder as he was getting up. It was a casual, friendly pat, the sort anyone might give to a brother or childhood friend, but no one would give to someone they'd only known for three days. Souma stared at Riku out of the corners of his eyes as he got ready for school. Maybe he knew subconsciously? He'd mentioned an odd dream yesterday - maybe he'd dreamed it and forgotten, or assumed it wasn't real? "Bye, Souma," he called, going out the door. "See you this afternoon."

That night, Souma fell asleep in his own bed, before an hour had passed.

--

Author's note: This is a missing-scene fic - if you care, it begins the night after Souma and Riku meet (after episode 5.) The next morning, where "Riku's chatter" keeps Souma up, is the scene at the beginning of episode 6 where Souma's trying (or pretending?) to sleep and Riku keeps bugging him.

I wrote this story pretty early in the series, so I didn't know everything about Souma's backstory. I was right about what happened to Souma's mom, and I was pretty close on how Souma and Yuuma used to get along. But I also assumed that Souma grew up in Mikazuchi Tower, which has now been contradicted in canon. So consider this a divergent continuity.


End file.
